I was watching the excellent 2004 film Kinsey, about the controversial professor who studied human sexuality in detail. In one scene, he talks with a man who claims to have basically done every perverted thing imaginable, many times. So I went to Wikipedia and discovered something kinda funny; out of every country in the world, the United States is the only one with laws against marrying a first cousin, and even here it is only illegal in 26 states(it is legal in D.C.). Interesting, yes, yes?
Here's a question that came up last night; is it important that you marry something with similar political leanings? I spoke with a particularly vile human being who declared that being with someone that didn't share their political viewpoint was out of the question. While looking for someone with similar viewpoints is probably a decent idea(especially somewhere like Iowa where opinions can be so different), I really hate the idea of completely shutting yourself off to relationships or even friendships with people solely because of their political views.
In some areas, this would be even more ridiclious. The last town I lived in was Selma, Alabama. Out of the 100 or so people in my grade at school, I would be surprised if more than 10 voted against Bush. What would voting for Bush say about any of those people? Absolutely nothing, because every fucking white person there votes that way. Point being that political viewpoints don't necessairly say as much about people as you might think.
2 comments:
I think it is actually kind of scary how Americans take politics so seriously. Though I can see how it works -- ideally if the government is by the people and for the people, then it is the people's responsibility to know what's going on in their government and vote accordingly. The problem is, as the nation becomes larger and issues become more complex, people become lazy (or they just don't have time) to follow the issues that affect them the most. So people rely on the news and media to decide what we should care about. Then they listen to people on TV arguing and pick a side and stick to it tenaciously. Then they think they are applying critical thinking when they are actually just regurgitating what they heard from the media. Then this tenacity leaks into their work lives as they talk about these "important" issues over the water cooler. And it leaks into their personal lives as they let even the smallest thing that goes contrary to their "political morals" piss them off. So they develope this hatred towards anyone who disagrees with them and refuse to date anyone like "those people". Heck, even I'm guilty of this (no way will I marry a Christian).
What can you do? I think its a problem that really needs to be fixed. (Maybe I should fix myself first).
I think it's a huge mistake to shut yourself down to someone with opposing views.
In order to have an interesting and stimulating relationship having your partner differ from you in key ways seems, to me anyway, to be absolutely essential.
Think about it this way. If you are with someone who has the exact same opinion as you on every single matter then your impetus to grow and examine your own opinions is virtually nil. Moreover, how boring would it be to sit around and have a discussion where all you get are your own beliefs parroted back at you?
While it is also important to have some similarities, there is no single issue (even religion) which should preclude you from examining someone as a person before you judge them on a specific set of beliefs.
Specifically to politics there are likely hundreds of thousands of dem-rep couples out there. I've met a handful and asked a few of them how they accomplish this. Most of them responded that they simply don't discuss politics. In most cases they have similar tastes and enjoy the same activities and simply disagree on what the best way to run the country is. I'm sure the situation is complicated by children, but I've never seen political opinions really being expressed to children in a significant way (mostly because such things are beyond the understanding of a common child).
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