I recently read an article about a technique some men use to end a relationship. Instead of a simple "It’s not you, it’s me," the men start behaving badly in order to drive their partner away. In theory, this provides a way to end a relationship without nasty arguments or bitterly hurt feelings. Once upon a time, I even considered using this technique (no, not you, Susan), but ultimately decided against it. Too slimy, too dishonest.
Trip (Matthew McConaughey) has mastered this technique to the point where separation can be achieved within an hour. As soon as a girlfriend starts pondering commitment, he takes her home for the first time, where she meets the parents, who just so happen to live in (and own) the house. Girl stomps out the front door in a huff, relationship problems solved.
Failure to Launch is a romantic comedy rife with characters for whom cruel behavior constitutes the norm. Trip may be a world-class moocher and a deadbeat, but that just means he fits right in. Mom (Kathy Bates, who must be remodeling her house) and Pop (Terry Bradshaw, with one too many nude scenes for my taste) are sick of this, but instead of changing the locks, they contract outside help. This comes in the form of Paula (Sarah Jessica Parker), a woman who gets paid handsomely to remove men from their parent’s homes.
Her methods would be right at home in the book I’m working on, "What’s Wrong With Evil Women Today". Paula arranges a Meet Cute, fakes interest in his hobbies, shares a weepy experience, and then demands he move out, only to break up with him once he leaves the nest. Paula guarantees the parents that the men will be imbued with confidence, which shows she has never been at the receiving end of a sudden and painful breakup. There’s also a rule about never having sex with the ‘clients’, one she breaks at her leisure if client has views on sex and relationships more advanced than a 6th grader’s.
Against all odds, the supporting characters match the distasteful leads point by point. Paula’s roommate Kit (Zooey Deschanel) has three settings: pouty, bitchy, and cunt. Trip’s friends Ace and Demo (what’s with the goofy names?) are fellow moochers who refuse to leave home, that dispense the typical Best Friend advice, such when Demo explains that animals constantly bite Trip because he behaves in a manner fundamentally opposed to nature. Uh-huh. Ace blackmails Paula into arranging a date with Kit, which the other characters actually admire for the resourcefulness. Friends like these…
The film concludes with one of those moronic moments where the entire supporting cast watches Trip and Paula declare their true love for one another on camera. Why this cliché appeals even to the lowest common denominator, I do not know, but the use here seems especially moronic, seeing as the relationship was a complete farce. At what point did deception and behavior that borders on psychopathic become romantic? Another chapter for my book, I suppose.
To my surprise, the film did have one trait that I would think a masterstroke of writing, if the rest of it weren’t so haphazard. Despite the inherent cruelty of each character, I never felt particularly offended by anything they did. It then dawned on me; by making this sort of bad behavior the norm throughout the script, it brings an odd sort of Zen balance to the proceedings, where everyone does unto others as others do unto them. What a neat screenwriting trick that might be in the hands of a serious filmmaker.
1.5 out of 5
2 comments:
If you are indeed writing a book called "What's Wrong With Evil Women Today", I can't wait to read it, or even add a few chapters. Anyway, it's essential that you use the James Frazier hyper-sarcastic, half-serious humor to write your book.
Unfortunately, no such book is in progress. Though there could be some potential there; maybe something that collects horror stories from men from all walks of life?
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