72

I'm finally reviewing films for the Northern Iowan, my school's paper. Considering I get a paycheck and free entrance to half the theaters in Iowa, it is a very sweet gig.

From now on, I've decided to only listen to music where the lyrics concern going to a club and lighting one's loins and soul on fire through hot dancing. Thus, I've thrown out all of my old music, and have purchased lots of rap and Shakira. I think I'll be a better person for it.


I'm not gonna make a habit of this, but here is my attempt at a capsule review of New Jack City:


Watching New Jack City, it quickly becomes apparent what a relic it is. Unlike contemporary films that fashion heroes out of vile thugs (The Sopranos, Blow, etc), New Jack City's drug kingpin, played by Wesley Snipes, comes across as nothing other than pure evil, a rotten cancer on humanity that we want to see terminated from his first appearence onwards. Other examples of the film's almost charming time warp quality; a young Chris Rock, very low gore to kill ratio, and the total absence of gangster rap, as it hadn't really been popularized yet (this is easily the most desireable trait). Director Mario van Peeble's urban tale of the destruction wrought by drugs and their salesmen has no shortage of moral potency, though this becomes diluted by stale performances and weak direction. Though it can range from mildly entertaining to awkward, until the scourge of drugs has been ended forever, New Jack City will continue to carry weight. Unfortunately, I'm thinking that will be forever.

2.5 out of 5

71 - Nacho Libre Review

Nearly two years ago, a low budget indie named Napoleon Dynamite hit screens and quickly became the latest pop phenomenon to dominate the cultural consciousness of America’s youth, particularly those who don’t take film seriously (i.e. 95%). Writer-director Jared Hess effectively won a filmmaker’s lottery, having a hit that essentially guaranteed cart blanche for his next project.

And now we have Nacho Libre, a vapid comedy of startling awfulness that will find box office success based solely on the buzz of its predecessor. For every few people that liked or loved Napoleon Dynamite, there was someone who loathed it and wondered aloud how a film so bad could make it to the big screen, let alone be so popular. While watching Nacho Libre, I certainly could relate to how they feel, but I can only hope it won’t be popular.

Jack Black stars as Nacho, a devout Mexican priest who cooks gruel for orphans. His interest in pro-wrestling and need of funds for better food leads him to suit up and enter the ring as a pathetic combatant but crowd favorite who always gets stomped into the canvas. Thrown into the mix are orphans, a token love interest, eagle eggs, and a lot of unfunny and badly choreographed wrestling matches.

Black’s talents are totally wasted here amidst a volley of jokes based on the vile logic that all Mexicans are ugly, and that ugly people are funny. In his other comedies such as Orange County or School of Rock, Black’s manic energy and zeal towards breaking the rules create a hilarious, even captivating presence. In Nacho Libre he comes across as fairly subdued, despite material that should allow him to cut loose. Certainly during the pitch, the thought of Black running around as a pro wrestler sounded great. But like many successful character actors, the filmmakers assume his mere presence is funny, ignoring that he needs proper material to make his shtick work.

Hess desperately tries to duplicate Napoleon Dynamite’s offbeat charm, with no success. Where Napoleon Dynamite possessed a great understanding of a small town existence so dull it nearly becomes surreal, Nacho Libre’s moronic atmosphere and characters are impossible to relate to. The film has an awkward, disjointed flow, as if additional scenes were filmed and crammed into the narrative to increase running time, which, if true, proves Hess to be a sadist.

This leads me to my next point, which concerns the film’s depiction of Mexicans. Normally films are only allowed to show prejudice towards white Southern Baptists, so the treatment of Mexicans here comes as a shock. I’m not one who gets offended by stereotypes in film easily, but Nacho Libre’s treatment of our neighbors to the south reminded me of those World War II era cartoons that portrayed Japanese people as slanted eyed buffoons with buck teeth who couldn’t stop bouncing up and down. With the exception of the love interest, every single character appears ugly and stupid. Considering that the film has the Nickelodeon label at the start, such a bigoted portrayal of an ethnic group seems doubly inappropriate.

Nacho Libre is boring, gross, and stupid, but it does have one serious redeeming feature. After sitting through something as horrible as this, the next film you see should seem like a true gem.

0 out of 5