82 - Clerks II review

"Sometimes I fell like the world has left us behind," says Randal Graves(Jeff Anderson), a lifelong conveinence store employee. His suspicions are valid; at 32, Randal and Dante Hicks (Brian O’Halloran) have never made a serious attempt at advancing in society, preferring to jockey a register and bad-mouth customers all day. When a rival from high school who has become a dot-com millionaire enters their work place simply to gloat, something appears to snap.

Writer-director Kevin Smith’s Clerks II takes a look at the same slackers we met over a decade ago, when "I’m just taking my time after high school" was an excuse that was already running out of steam. Dante and Randal are now working at a fast food chain after their beloved Qwik Stop store burned down. Dante’s time as a minimum-wage stooge appears to be coming to an end, as his controlling fiancée Emma (Jennifer Schwalbach, coincidentally Smith’s wife) has ordered him from New Jersey to Florida, much to Randal’s horror. The film mostly chronicles Dante’s final day at work, sullenly flipping burgers and serving the occasional customer with Randal. Added to the crew is Elias (Trevor Fehrman), a remarkably awkward teen pervert, and Becky (Rosario Dawson), the gorgeous boss who just happens to be Dante’s true love, amongst other things. And of course, the drug dealing Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Smith) continue to harass the customers and sell drugs, despite being fresh out of rehab themselves.

While the original Clerks was a series of interesting conversations hung on a plot that functioned simply as a clothesline, Clerks II places an emphasis on story that may be disappointing to those expecting more of the same. Smith has something to say this time, and he uses his first true sequel as a vehicle for that message. At first he initially appears to be arguing that progress is the natural way of a happy life, but the message turns out to be just the opposite. The way Smith sees it, if Dante and Randal want to spend their lives as slackers doing a monkey’s job, why not?

The stance reflects Smith’s own career. After Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, he declared his View Askew series finished, and tried to move on with Jersey Girl, which had the box office impact of a roll of wet toilet paper. Clerks II represents not just a return to what Smith knows best, but a defense of that return. That the film was originally titled The Passion of the Clerks, a title that seems very appropriate once you see the film.

Gone are the easy-going black and white no-budget sensibilities of the original, in are the much less effective color and the big budget of proven profitability. There exist surprisingly few references to the original, which shows great self-restraint when considering previous View Askewniverse films. That same discipline dries up in other areas, as the film grinds to a halt at times so the characters can ride go-karts and dance to Michael Jackson.

Fans of Smith’s typically nihilistic slacker style dialogue will find much to love, though many will notice some subtle differences. Amidst long-winded arguments over Transformers, Lord of the Rings, and Star Wars, there exists a hostility towards the world that goes further than mere bitterness. Before his characters may have been angry, even mean-spirited, but here the high level of vitriol often overwhelms the humor. One conversation concerning the illicit use of a donkey reportedly caused Good Morning America critic Joel Siegel to angrily storm out of a critic’s screening. Good thing he didn’t stick around to watch the sequence concerning Dante’s going away party, which gets so repulsive Siegel might have had a heart attack.

It’s hard to recommend Clerks II. Previous experience with Smith’s films are virtually a prerequisite for enjoyment. The vulgarity excludes even more viewers, as does the fact that it never approaches Smith’s best work. But the smart-ass remarks and shamelessly geeky fanboy dialogue works for those who would enjoy it. If you have much doubt, the odds that you’ll like it are only slightly higher than the likelihood of Dante and Randal getting real jobs.

The film’s two lead characters ultimately earn the film a recommendation. Inevitably, we all know these people. They are the type of guys who shrug off suggestions of education or advancement with a pledge that one day they’ll be millionaires, even though their plans to do so are nonexistent at worst, vague at best. The victory of Dante and Randal comes not through monetary success, but honestly coming to terms with who they are and what they actually enjoy doing, the same of which might could be said for Smith. If only all the real Dante and Randal’s of the world could do the same.

3 out of 5

81

Okay, a review of Clerks II is coming up really soon. Today is the last day of summer school for me, and it hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. All of my gen. ed. is now done, a satisfaction dulled by the fact that I should have finished way earlier.

In the meantime, here is a link to a video that I made with a couple of friends two or three years ago. Pretty shabby, but still amusing, I'd like to think.

80 - Pirates of the Caribbean 2 review

People often decry films based on video games, but now there’s an even more ridiculous medium to draw from; films based on theme park rides. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest gleefully embraces the spirit of its source material, cramming loud, flashy, and expensive spectacles down the audience’s throat for the duration of the thrilling trip.

Johnny Depp returns as the colorful, stumbling Captain Jack Sparrow, who we first see blasting his way out of an ocean-bound coffin. Old comrades Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Kiera Knightley) find themselves in shackles on their wedding day, blackmailed into finding Sparrow and retrieving his magical compass. You’d think the massive British navy could accomplish this, but I suppose questions like that become moot when magical compasses are a major plot point.

Depp once again shines as Sparrow, the anti-hero role that gained him a popular following amongst general audiences that his litany of wonderful films over the past two decades had failed to. The sheer originality of the performance hasn’t worn off, and leaves the audience patiently awaiting more, which is no small achievement. Bloom plays type as the bland supporting hero entrapped by his loyalties, while Knightley scores a laugh or two (watch her attempt to stop a sword fight) while remaining painfully beautiful to look at. Most importantly, they all have as much fun playing the roles as we’re supposed to have watching them.

Director Gore Verbinski darkens the atmosphere, providing many more morbid deaths and treacherous double-crosses than the original. An unrecognizable but excellent Bill Nighy plays Davy Jones, an undead cross between octopus and pirate captain who commands not just a similarly fishy crew, but a colossal sea creature that can smash a ship to firewood with the flick of a tentacle. Here we have the most interesting character, a cruel antagonist with much power but a devastating Achilles Heel (or in this case, Heart). The mere appearance of the villain and his crew are a testament to the joys of CGI, and strip much of the vulgarity out of the film’s reported $200 million budget.

The great action sequences come in a few doses of long length, at times wearing out their welcome, but managing to impress. Verbinski and crew know how to mix it up, keeping the battles in (relatively) uncharted waters. Particularly exciting are a three man duel on a rolling wooden wheel and a tense confrontation with the aforementioned sea creature, both with so much going on it’s hard not to get dizzy.

At 150 minutes the plot drags, but not nearly as much as its predecessor. While the first film spent too much time lost at sea, aimlessly searching for things to do, this one wisely takes advantage of the established history, kicking off the action sequences and witty banter quickly. Some sequences get far too chatty, but we know that a thrilling drop lurks at the end of every steep incline.

Sure, the film goes on a while longer than it has to, may give you a headache, and won’t change your life, but you get what you pay for. For a quiet, introspective experience, try the library, or rent Capote. For an obnoxious blast of summer fun, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest will do as nicely as a trip to Disney Land.

3.5 out of 5