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I'll say it again: does just about every fucking Republican debate have to be hosted by a former Democratic operative? The Democrats can't even go on Fox News to take questions from Mike Wallace's son.

241 - Resident Evil: Extinction review

“Resident Evil: Extinction” should have been named “Resident Evil: Post-Apocalypse,” which would have especially fitting considering that the last installment was titled “Resident Evil: Apocalypse.” Here, a zombie infestation has devastated the planet. Deserts cover every continent, monsters outnumber people, food is scare, and all of the women are really, really hot. I guess no one said that the end of the world would be devoid of perks.

This film has lots. Lots of shooting, lots of zombies, lots of sand, lots of babes, lots of trucks, lots of melee combat, lots of sci-fi technology, lots of blood covered monsters, lots of killing, lots of gore, lots of nauseated audience members, lots of middle school boys in the audience seeing their favorite movie of the year, lots of adults rolling their eyes.

The plot, since something needs to justify all the lots, centers on Alice (Milla Jovovich, a walking advertisement for the glories of Eastern European women), a scantily clad monster killing machine. She travels the post-apocalyptic wasteland on a suspiciously shiny BMW motorcycle in search of food and gasoline, butchering whatever crosses her path. Meanwhile, the evil eggheads of the Umbrella Corporation track her via satellite, hoping to use her extra special blood to help cure the zombie problem, which seems like too little too late now that the entire earth resembles Tatooine from “Star Wars.”

Alice runs into a travelling convoy of survivors led by Claire (Ali Later) and Carlos (Oded Fehr). They’ve survived by sucking small towns dry of supplies, and although gasoline has proven a scarce commodity, ammunition apparently has not, since they have a lot to shoot around. Alice shows them a sacred book written by a gas station attendant who later hung himself, full of ramblings about Alaska being the last safe place on earth. They decide to make the long journey, but stop first at Las Vegas first, which in this film looks like the real place would if it were buried in sand and had no buildings other than those ostentatious ones on the Strip.

Director Russell Mulcahy keeps things brisk, and knows how to film a pretty good action scene. His tendency to insert a potential scare moment into just about every scene comes off as substantially less charming, however. Every time a character opens a door or looks down the road, we brace for the surprise scare. “There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it,” Alfred Hitchcock noted. “Resident Evil: Extinction” has many bangs, and not too much anticipation, except perhaps for those nauseated audience members checking their cell phone clocks and doing mental math over what time the credits will roll.

2.5 out of 5