396 - The X-Files: I Want to Believe review

Note: This was published a couple weeks ago in the WCF Courier, but I couldn't find the file to post here until recently.

It has been six years since “The X-Files” came to an end, but now fans of the series are treated to an extra long $30 million standalone episode. But it’s playing in theaters, not on television, which means they’ll have to shell out eight bucks to see it.

Of course, the true fans will see “The X-Files: I Want to Believe” anyway, regardless of quality. It’s the non-x-aphile that the studio really needs in order to turn a profit, and this ain’t gonna do it. Obviously opening soon after “The Dark Knight” can’t help, but the film has even bigger problems.

Pic reunites conspiracy theorist Fox Mulder (David Duchovny) and quasi-skeptic Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson), the paranormal investigators pair who ran afoul of all varieties of oddity and morbidity. Now out of the FBI, they’re pulled back into the strangeness business to help solve an agent’s disappearance.

The initial weirdness: a pedophile priest (Billy Connolly) claims to have psychic visions guiding him to clues about the case. They initially express doubt about the validity of the priest’s claims, an odd stubbornness considering the 200 or so science-defying adventures the pair had experienced. Shouldn’t a plain old psychic be pretty easy to believe in comparison to a lot of that other claptrap? Never mind. I’m just trying to figure out exactly what Mulder and Scully are really needed for in the first place.

The film, written and directed by series creator Chris Carter, can’t make heads of tails of its own story, which involves some nonsense about Russian medical experiments. By the end, we’re still told little about the why any of the antagonists did what, quite frustrating considering that it’s a mystery. The script is peppered with inexplicable lapses in exposition and topped off with a heavy dose of deus ex machine at the close just for good measure.

Some serious themes such as faith and redemption are briefly flirted with but are abandoned almost entirely by the close. A good “X-Files” film could leave people scratching their heads on the way out, but this one creates an unpleasant itch.

By contrast, the best scenes are those where Mulder and Scully simply converse. It won’t take a series fan to sense the extensive history between the characters (and by extension, the actors). The degree of familiarity and respect between the two makes the quiet moments far more compelling than the twisted occurrences driving everything forward.

Yet those moments are rare and unaided by the meandering, stagnant plot. I’m certain that the average moviegoer will be unimpressed enough that they’ll regret not seeing “The Dark Knight” a second time instead. Perhaps the fans will enjoy it, but considering the success they brought those involved with the original series, this should be a disappointment. If another movie should come along, I’d like to think it could go straight to TV. At least I want to believe so.

2.5 out of 5