Thursday, April 29, 2010

584 - Ninja Assassin review

I had a hard time not thinking of the infantile Spike TV show "Deadliest Warrior" while watching "Ninja Assassin." In the show, groups of immature history junkies get together to argue about whose ancestors would win in a fight, as if the idea of a Zulu fighting a 15th century Scotsman had any serious merit. "Ninja Assassin" could have just as easily been titled "Ninja vs. SWAT Team" and have retained the blunt veracity of the actual name, seeing as what it really adds to is a series of lengthy battles between ninjas and SWAT goons. Of course, in real life the SWAT team would win 100% of the time and likely wouldn't suffer any casualties at any point, but to the geeky mind, nothing's deadlier than a Japanese man with a bunch of throwing stars.

Directed by Wachowski Bros. prodigy James McTeigue, the film is a bit like a kid who stuffs firecrackers into every orifice of a doll and lights them at once. It's bloody, bloody, bloody, with the nectar of life taking on a pinkish hue ala Romero's "Dawn of the Dead." Sort of an homage to those awful low-budget ninja flicks of the 80's and 90's, it features an impressive turn by Rain, a Korean pop star who apparently had no martial arts experience whatsoever before stepping into the slippers of the titular ninja. Coulda fooled me, cause he looks like a pro.

2.5 out of 5

No comments: